Why Wait (1)

Chapter One

Why Wait?

While many consider virginity as an outdated, pioneer rule. There are many benefits to keeping your virginity for awhile.

As a teenager I remember feeling like the only virgin left in the world. That only myself, and the nerdy girls who 'couldn't pay someone to lay them' were left. I felt like it was a bad thing. That I wasn't experienced or that I was missing something everyone else had.

If only I could go back and give my high school self some of the inside I know now. But since I can't, I thought I would share it with you.

1. Statistically speaking, over HALF of all girls remain Virgins until their 20's. I know it doesn't seem like it, but people aren't exactly proudly admitting it. A lot of girls feel embarrassed about it. But you Shouldn't!

2. The truth is, you have the upper hand. Your a lot 'tighter' and more pleasurable for the guy the first few times, so guys get more excited about virgins. Guys are not going to be disappointed that you lack a little experience, because it’s a win-win for them. And it takes some of the pressure off them if you're less than a pro.

3. You don't yet have the emotional baggage that undoubtedly comes with ex sex partners. You may not be fully committed to "Saving yourself" for marriage. But PLEASE, for your sake, save yourself for someone special! It is something you will never forget, so make it a good memory, not a regret. You think missing an ex you used to care about hurts, it’s 100x worse when you have made that emotional sexual connection with them! Never, ever, have sex to make someone love you or want to stay with you. It won't work. That's like giving someone money to be your friend. Sure they will stick around for awhile, but all they care about is what you are giving them and not who you are. Love is a complicated thing, but without true chemistry you will never stay together long, no matter how much you want to. And sometimes it takes years to find that real connection with someone. If you’re not patient you can end up screwing yourself in the long run.

4. There are good reasons you might want to wait until marriage. I was a virgin until I met my husband. He had lost his virginity early. I don't know who is hurt more by that. He tells me all the time how much he regrets that he can't give me all of him. And it does bother me because I saved myself for someone special, and my special person didn't wait for me. It always makes me worry that those memories may cross his mind, or that I am not as good as what he had before, even though he says I am. It’s not about your parents trying to treat you like a kid and keep you from having "fun". Its that, as adults, we can look back and see how it will effect things for you later down the road. And trying to save you from the same mistake and heartache as they have.

But ultimately it’s your decision, just remember- its a bigger deal than you think.

5. Losing your virginity is not a “Magical” Experience.

The first time you have sex is awkward and uncomfortable no matter what. If you have someone who is calm and gentle it takes away a bit of that, but losing your virginity isn't some big magical experience like TV makes it seem. And, as the female, unless he is getting laid all the time, you won't reach the point of pleasure before it’s all over all too soon. Also, if he gets too excited too fast, it could actually hurt quite a bit. And when it’s over 3 minutes later you will quietly be thinking to yourself “was that IT?”

6. And lastly, enjoy the romance and anticipation as long as you can. Once you start having sex you lose a little bit of that, because he doesn’t have to try so hard to get what he wants. Which means less "warming up" and more "getting to it" which is a loss for you.

Your relationship starts to change as well. You may feel closer in some ways. But the mystery and “sexual tension” quickly starts to die. You no longer enjoy just making out. And it is no longer a question of excitement in the back of your mind, because you don't have to wonder what will happen tonight… you already know. So the mystery and wonder of sex are now gone. And steamy make-out sessions are a thing of the past.

That much being said, it’s your choice. I just wanted to share my experience and what I know now that I wish I knew then. Hopefully this gives you some kind of perspective to base your future decisions off of, and make sure you know what comes next before you play your cards.

What's it gonna cost? (2)

Chapter Two

What’s it gonna cost?

As a teenager, $20-$30 for protection seems expensive and inconvenient.

$50 back up plans or $150 drs appointments are unbelievable!

Lets do some math here…

$150 dr apt + $25 birth control prescription (X12 months) =

$450 per year for Birth Control.

Quality Condom: est $1.50 each X 1 per day (that’s a lot of sex!)  =

$547 per year for protection.

Even talking about sex can sometimes be uncomfortable or embarrassing.

But let’s talk about the alternative.

“A sexually active teen who doesn't use contraceptives has a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within a year. AND More than half of all mothers who had their first child when they were a  teenager are on welfare. In fact, 2/3 of families that start out with a young, unmarried mother are poor.” https://www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11-facts-about-teen-pregnancy

3 out of 10 American girls will get pregnant before they turn 20 years old. Over 700 girls between 14-19 get pregnant every day! That’s an average of 14-15 girls daily, just in your home state!

And out of the teen mothers who have a baby before 19, 25% of them will have another baby within 2 years of the first!

So here’s an important question- How much does having a baby cost?

Well, if by “having a baby” you mean drs appointments, prenatal care, and delivery for someone without insurance (as long as everything goes smoothly and natural) Around $30,000.

But, pregnancy and delivery are especially hard on young mothers bodies. Which can complicate things (as well as make labor more long and painful). So that cost could go up to $50,000 if you need emergency surgery or other procedures or appointments.

“But what if I'm on my parents insurance?” Good question.

90% of insurance policies cover a couple (parents) and their offspring to a certain age, but do not cover pregnancy costs of the offspring. If you are one of the lucky few with parents who have really good insurance that will cover your pregnancy costs, your average cost of having a baby is $7,000 - $9,000. (Yes after insurance) http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-costs/

And then raising the baby will cost anywhere from $450-$1000 per month.

https://www.babycenter.com/baby-cost-calculator

So “perfect’ Pregnancy care and Delivery: est $7000 + $450 per month baby supplies and care costs = $12,400.

And an uninsured, unplanned baby could cost up to $50,000!

If you just found out you are pregnant, please take a second to go throw up, and then see Chapter “Oh Baby” (Click Here) before you start to panic!

And make sure you talk to your parents about Birth Control today, because with their help and insurance you could have protection and peace of mind for FREE!

Birth Control, Protection, & How to get it (3)

Chapter Three

Birth Control, Protection, & how to get it.

You should try to talk to your parents about birth control if you feel like you need it. Even if you are not sexually active, there are many benefits to being on BC. And it takes about 2 months for the pill to kick in and be fully effective.

Some parents think that Birth Control is “Taboo” or a bad thing. That it encourages kids to have sex and make bad choices. Or that it will affect their moods and behaviors negatively. They might give you stories about “When my sister took that she went CRAZY” or “Your great aunt never had kids and she took birth control when she was a kid so that must be why she is infertile.”

Truth be told, Birth control has come a long way in the last 15-20 years, and there are a variety of options now available so if one doesn't work well for you they can switch to another kind. And all teenagers (whether on BC or not) have a lot of hormonal and attitude changes they go through, as well as episodes of anxiety or depression- that is a normal part of puberty and adolescence.

There is not 1 teenager I know that would not like lighter, less painful, more predictable periods and clearer skin! And teens who want to have sex, are going to do it with or without birth control. The only thing birth control does is prevent a “bad choice” from becoming a “life changing mistake”.

But I know that not all parents will understand this. And it is a difficult (and sometimes uncomfortable) thing to talk about. If your parents are not supportive there are ways to get it yourself. And there are probably many other people who are willing to help you (an aunt, older sibling, or trusted adult you can confide in?)

So here are some methods and products for prevention, where to get them, and how to use them:

#1. The Condom.

A condom is the safest and most effective form of prevention. It is a little plastic “glove” that holds all the precum and ejaculation fluids. It is the only form of protection that keeps you from sharing “fluids” and STDs, STIs, and other infectious matters. You can buy these almost anywhere, from gas station bathrooms, to pharmacys, to grocery stores. You do not have to be a certain age or gender to buy them. No one will say anything or accuse you for buying them. They have condoms for male or female parts (yes there’s a girl version.) And is it not the “Man’s Job” to have one. If you are a female even thinking about sex you should have one. Keep it in the period pocket of your purse. It’s better for you both to have one than neither of you.

Do not store this any place they will get bent, punctured, or excessively hot or cold, like your wallet or inside your vehicle.

#2 The Pill

Oral Birth Control is also one of the most effective ways to prevent pregnancy. They also have many other hormonal benefits such as getting rid of PMS, making your periods shorter lighter and more predictable, clearing your skin, and preventing endometriosis. There are a lot of myths about how it will make you crazy or suicidal, but 99% of the time you just get a little emotional for the first few weeks (same as PMS) as your hormones balance. The pill does not reduce your chances of getting pregnant in the future when you choose to stop, and can make you be more fertile and increase your pregnancy chances the day you stop taking it, for several months after. You become fertile as soon as you miss a pill. It does not stay in your system for any amount of time after- so DO NOT have unprotected sex on a day you missed, or delayed taking your pill!

You do have to have a prescription to get Oral Birth control, but you can get it from almost any Dr, or clinic. Your Dr can not tell your parents about your visit or prescription or even that you were seen by a Dr, so if your parents are not supportive of you don't want them to know you can pay for the appointment yourself (don't use their insurance or it will send them a bill). There are many clinics who offer low cost appointments to teenagers for this reason. Don't be afraid to call around and ask for prices. You usually only need 1 appointment to get a year or more's worth of prescriptions available.

#3 The Patch

Just like the pill you will need to see a Dr to get a prescription for the patch but instead of taking medicine orally it is absorbed into your skin through a patch much like the one smokers use to quit.

#4 Spermicide

You can get this from a drug store, shopping center, or pharmacy without a prescription. It is a foam or gel that comes with an applicator (like a tampon). You squirt this foam into the vagina before sex and it it kills any sperm that come in contact with it. However spermicide is only 72% Effective (28 out of 100 woman will become pregnant using this properly) And for some it has negative side effects including itching, burning, and spotting. It should be used with another form of protection, or as an added precaution.

There are even more options to chose from. Including removable inserts, and surgical implants but these are more expensive and you would probably have a more difficult time getting them on your own without a parent or insurance. So since this article is directed to young teenagers I chose to leave them out. There is one other “Back up Plan” but it is so important that I gave it its own Chapter. (Click Here)

What your period says about you, & fertility (4)

Chapter Four

What your period says about you.

If you didn't already know, teenagers are more likely to get pregnant than adults. Why is this?

Well here’s a bit of science for you.

A menstruation cycle lasts roughly 28 days. Day 1 is the first day of your period. And day 28 is the last day before your next cycle.

Ovulation is the day your ovaries release an egg down the fallopian tube and it it able to be fertilized. (i.e baby making day.) This day usually occurs 14 days before the last day of your cycle. (so 15 days after the first day of your period)

The 2 days before ovulation start your fertile time window, when you are more likely to get pregnant then any other time of the month. HOWEVER, you can still become pregnant ANY day of the month (which I will explain later). So just because you are not in the fertile window does not mean you are safe!

Sperm can live inside a woman for 3, sometimes even 5, days after sex. Especially because during the fertile window, the vaginal discharge becomes ready and more inhabitable for the sperm. Where normally the vagina kills sperm and makes it difficult for them to survive. During Ovulation and the fertile window, the vagina makes itself the right temperature, consistency, and PH levels to help the sperm.

24 hours after the egg is released, if it does not meet a sperm, it will die and pass into the uterus to be passed during menstruation. This is the end of ovulation and the fertile window and you *can't get pregnant until the next cycle. (Please see below because *this is kind of a lie!)

Unfortunately, because ovulation is based off the last day, and not the first day, it can sometimes be hard to know for sure which day it is occurring. Especially if your cycles are not all 28 days long, every single time, consistent, like clock work. (which no one’s really is!)

The best thing you can do is get a period tracker app on your phone. And as you document all your cycles it will gather data and adjust your calendar to be specific to you and your unique cycle. Then it can calculate, and warn you in advance, not only when your next period will be, but when your fertile window occurs. If you don't have a smartphone, start calculating and recording your cycles and predicted ovulation days on a calendar. Even if you use alternative forms of birth control, it is important to know.

It is important to avoid having unprotected sex on these days! No matter what! It can wait. Sadly, because of the hormones released during ovulation, this is also the time that you want sex the most.

If you do have sex during this time, always wear a condom. Even if you are on the pill. And even better-use BOTH.

*There are over a dozen factors that can affect when, and how often a woman ovulates. And especially within the first 3-5 years a woman gets her period, the cycle is not a consistent pattern.

Imagine your body is a business. And when your period starts all the employees and workers are new. None of them know exactly how to do their job right. So things don't always go smooth and efficiently. You might have a 16 day cycle, then a 30 day cycle, then an 18 day cycle… you never know exactly which day is which.

You might even have ovulation on the totally wrong day (including during menstruation) or multiple times a month (which means more ovulation days and bigger fertility windows) because our ovaries have no idea what they are doing.  It takes quite a while to get everything sorted out. And once everything is consistent and predictable- it can get all messed up again due to pregnancy or hormonal factors.

So the reason teenagers get pregnant more frequently is because they are usually more fertile, and it is very hard for them to know when they are fertile.

And another reason is because no one gives them all the details- or helps them get the proper protection.

The Pull Out Method (5)

Chapter Five

The Pull Out Method

The myth that never dies- The pull out method.

This is the most popular “protection” plan for teenagers. Why? Because its Free, you don't have to plan ahead, and it feels the best.

What is it? “Pulling Out” is when the male removes himself from his partner before he ejaculates (squirts sperm) and releases it outside of her body.

How effective is it? Well that depends.

If accomplished 100% perfectly, only 4% of woman will get pregnant.

If done incorrectly, the pregnancy chance goes up to 27% or higher.

The biggest downfalls here are, that younger males have a harder time accomplishing 100% accuracy. And that even if he is a reliable 100%, a tiny mistake could make him fail one time, and that’s all it takes!

It is important to remember that absolutely none of the sperm can come in contact with any part of her vagina. Including the outside! If any single one of those million tiny minions makes it up, you could get pregnant.

It is also important to note that sperm can live in bath water, so if you bath together and the ejaculates in the water (while chances are pretty low) it is possible to get pregnant!

There is also a really big reason why the Pull out method won’t work- Precum.

During sex, men release small amounts of cum before ejaculation (Precum). And in 60% of men, that cum has no sperm. However, 4 out of 10 males do have live sperm present in the precum. And after an ejaculation- if you decide to go for round 2, all the precum has live sperm for 10 out of 10 men!

Did you hear that?! After sperm is released, precum will push live sperm out of the penis. So wait a long while (over 4 hours) or put on a condom if you want to go again!

For the 4 unlucky men, the amount of live sperm varies a lot depending on the amount released during ejaculations, how often he has sex, and his age and hormones. But it is very possible to get pregnant even if he performs a completely 100% perfect pull out.

So, how do you know if he is one of those 4?

Well the only way to know is go to a fertility dr. and then can test it. Or end up accidentally pregnant, and then blame him for his hormones the rest of his life.

Back Up Plan (6)

Chapter Six

Back Up Plan

If you have unprotected sex, or feel that sperm has somehow defied the odds to ruin you, there is another option.

At any drugstore you can purchase a little pill called PLAN B. However it is very expensive- about $50 per pill! So it is always better to plan ahead rather than be in a pinch last minute!

You can find this pill on the same aisle as condoms and lubes. And you don't need a prescription for it.

This is not an “abortion” pill and it will not affect a baby. (Though is it not recommended to take while pregnant because the chemicals are not great for a developing fetus)

When your ovary releases an egg into the fallopian tube, it sits and waits to be fertilized. When you take the Plan B pill, it tells your ovaries not to release the egg. If the egg has already been released, the chemicals make the egg think that it has already been fertilized and it releases the “force field” that prevents more sperm from fertilizing it. Then it passes into the uterus. After the body realizes the egg is not growing and progressing into anything (because it was never actually fertilized) it triggers menstruation and passes the egg along as if it were never there.

The pill also irritates the lining of the uterus and prevents the egg from attaching itself inside. (The same way birth control does)

A sperm fertilized egg will not be able to attach itself to the uterus and continue to develop. The uterus provides nutrients and oxygen that allow the egg to develop from cells into a fetus. Until the cells (blastocyst) attach and receive the nutrients from the uterine wall, they don't progress into anything but a couple of split cells.

The sooner you take this pill after sex, the better. And after 72 hours it doesn't matter because if the sperm didn't reach the egg it will have died by now and the risk of fertilization is gone.

If the sperm reaches the egg, and the egg moved down and attached itself to the uterus before the pill kicks in, then it has no effect on the now developing embryo. So if you are already pregnant and the cells are developing into a baby, then there are no negative reactions to it. It does not harm or ‘abort’ this pregnancy.

There are side effects though. Nothing serious but definitely unpleasant.

If you throw up within 2 hours of taking the pill you may have to take another one. Your period may come early, or late, and be longer or shorter than normal. It may cause spotting, or change your cycle for the next several months. If your period is more than a week late (even if you had a little spotting) you should take a pregnancy test.

And the most important thing to remember is- The pill only prevents pregnancy from prior sex. If you have unprotected sex again (even right after taking it) you will not be protected against pregnancy. And for the next couple months after, your body will be fighting extra hard to “correct” the fertility “issue” (why your hormones went drastically up then down causing pregnancy to be all but impossible) And you will be even more likely to get pregnant. (Same way as when you stop taking birth control you become instantly super fertile.)

Don't be afraid to take this pill. The side effects from it are 100% times less unpleasant than the side effects of pregnancy! No one will know if you take it. And even if there were no sperm or you were not ovulating or fertile when you took it- nothing bad will happen. So if in doubt- it’s always better safe than sorry.

http://www.pregnancycorner.com/getting-pregnant/fertility/implantation.html

Click Here: http://planb.ca/how-it-works.html