Why Wait (1)

Chapter One

Why Wait?

While many consider virginity as an outdated, pioneer rule. There are many benefits to keeping your virginity for awhile.

As a teenager I remember feeling like the only virgin left in the world. That only myself, and the nerdy girls who 'couldn't pay someone to lay them' were left. I felt like it was a bad thing. That I wasn't experienced or that I was missing something everyone else had.

If only I could go back and give my high school self some of the inside I know now. But since I can't, I thought I would share it with you.

1. Statistically speaking, over HALF of all girls remain Virgins until their 20's. I know it doesn't seem like it, but people aren't exactly proudly admitting it. A lot of girls feel embarrassed about it. But you Shouldn't!

2. The truth is, you have the upper hand. Your a lot 'tighter' and more pleasurable for the guy the first few times, so guys get more excited about virgins. Guys are not going to be disappointed that you lack a little experience, because it’s a win-win for them. And it takes some of the pressure off them if you're less than a pro.

3. You don't yet have the emotional baggage that undoubtedly comes with ex sex partners. You may not be fully committed to "Saving yourself" for marriage. But PLEASE, for your sake, save yourself for someone special! It is something you will never forget, so make it a good memory, not a regret. You think missing an ex you used to care about hurts, it’s 100x worse when you have made that emotional sexual connection with them! Never, ever, have sex to make someone love you or want to stay with you. It won't work. That's like giving someone money to be your friend. Sure they will stick around for awhile, but all they care about is what you are giving them and not who you are. Love is a complicated thing, but without true chemistry you will never stay together long, no matter how much you want to. And sometimes it takes years to find that real connection with someone. If you’re not patient you can end up screwing yourself in the long run.

4. There are good reasons you might want to wait until marriage. I was a virgin until I met my husband. He had lost his virginity early. I don't know who is hurt more by that. He tells me all the time how much he regrets that he can't give me all of him. And it does bother me because I saved myself for someone special, and my special person didn't wait for me. It always makes me worry that those memories may cross his mind, or that I am not as good as what he had before, even though he says I am. It’s not about your parents trying to treat you like a kid and keep you from having "fun". Its that, as adults, we can look back and see how it will effect things for you later down the road. And trying to save you from the same mistake and heartache as they have.

But ultimately it’s your decision, just remember- its a bigger deal than you think.

5. Losing your virginity is not a “Magical” Experience.

The first time you have sex is awkward and uncomfortable no matter what. If you have someone who is calm and gentle it takes away a bit of that, but losing your virginity isn't some big magical experience like TV makes it seem. And, as the female, unless he is getting laid all the time, you won't reach the point of pleasure before it’s all over all too soon. Also, if he gets too excited too fast, it could actually hurt quite a bit. And when it’s over 3 minutes later you will quietly be thinking to yourself “was that IT?”

6. And lastly, enjoy the romance and anticipation as long as you can. Once you start having sex you lose a little bit of that, because he doesn’t have to try so hard to get what he wants. Which means less "warming up" and more "getting to it" which is a loss for you.

Your relationship starts to change as well. You may feel closer in some ways. But the mystery and “sexual tension” quickly starts to die. You no longer enjoy just making out. And it is no longer a question of excitement in the back of your mind, because you don't have to wonder what will happen tonight… you already know. So the mystery and wonder of sex are now gone. And steamy make-out sessions are a thing of the past.

That much being said, it’s your choice. I just wanted to share my experience and what I know now that I wish I knew then. Hopefully this gives you some kind of perspective to base your future decisions off of, and make sure you know what comes next before you play your cards.